Last year I went into RBTI full heartedly, unfortunately because that made me feel a lot worse overall. I stopped following RBTI about 6 months ago. I am today doing much better just eating mostly whatever at mostly whatever time and not following any specific program.
After reading Matt Stone's latest book (180 Degree Health) the other day about liquid intake I am trying to only drink when I'm thirsty and to eat extra fat, salty and sugary meals when my feet and hands are cold. The goal would be to improve metabolism, body heat and not dilute the body's liquid storages by drinking too much. I feel optimistic about it. I'm also working hard in psychotherapy doing something called ISTDP. It's quite powerful and seems to help me. However, some new emotional trauma this year caused me to develop arthritis in my toes making walking difficult. My journey is definitely one of continued struggles. I now am able to work full time though thanks to the TMS diagnosis. But the TMS cure was harder to achieve than getting the diagnosis. It's still an ongoing learning experience. It's especially challenging to find the balance between sel-care, like yoga, meditation, massage, stress reduction, rest, breathing exercises, and just ignoring all of it and working too much. But it's something I continue to develop.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Homoeblock Saga
So to summarize my Homeoblock experience, it would have been a largely meaningless exercise had it not been for the sad fact that I had to widen two of my teeth in order for the upper palate to not automatically get back to it's original small size. Because I had to widen two teeth, I ended up loosing two healthy teeth making the experience traumatizing and horrible. I had them replaced with fake teeth.
It was a really traumatic experience to loose two of my teeth. I lost part of myself and my heritage. I would never have gone on this journey if I had known how painful it would be emotionally and how meaningless it would turn out to be in the end. I got no health benefits from this process what so ever. No improvements in my CP, no improvements in mood or in mental focus. Now I have to live with two fake teeth in my mouth for the rest of my life. Teeth that lack in personality and uniqueness. The Homeoblock, and widening of my upper palate was definitely yet another dead end road for me. Some would say that esthetically my teeth look "better" today, but I disagree as my old teeth were the one thing I really liked about my appearance until I read Weston Price's book and began to worry about my narrow upper palate and see crooked teeth as not only charming but a sign of degradation. I feel today that the nutritional mistakes of my parents and our western society were something it would have been better to learn to live with. Changing the palate as an adult was not a good idea for me. I totally regret the whole thing. I can't recommend it to anyone else for sure. It's the most expensive not tested alternative treatment for health that failed me so far. If nothing else, I can report this information on my blog.
This is after I got the front teeth closer together:
Then they went to this, with temporary teeth:
To this finally:
Although I'm slowly getting used to how my teeth look now, I got no improvement in my breathing, brain capacity or anything else, not even my TMJ. So, I definitely can't recommend anyone to embark upon this costly and long treatment. What they rave about online at other places was not true for me at all.
It was a really traumatic experience to loose two of my teeth. I lost part of myself and my heritage. I would never have gone on this journey if I had known how painful it would be emotionally and how meaningless it would turn out to be in the end. I got no health benefits from this process what so ever. No improvements in my CP, no improvements in mood or in mental focus. Now I have to live with two fake teeth in my mouth for the rest of my life. Teeth that lack in personality and uniqueness. The Homeoblock, and widening of my upper palate was definitely yet another dead end road for me. Some would say that esthetically my teeth look "better" today, but I disagree as my old teeth were the one thing I really liked about my appearance until I read Weston Price's book and began to worry about my narrow upper palate and see crooked teeth as not only charming but a sign of degradation. I feel today that the nutritional mistakes of my parents and our western society were something it would have been better to learn to live with. Changing the palate as an adult was not a good idea for me. I totally regret the whole thing. I can't recommend it to anyone else for sure. It's the most expensive not tested alternative treatment for health that failed me so far. If nothing else, I can report this information on my blog.
This is after I got the front teeth closer together:
Then they went to this, with temporary teeth:
To this finally:
Although I'm slowly getting used to how my teeth look now, I got no improvement in my breathing, brain capacity or anything else, not even my TMJ. So, I definitely can't recommend anyone to embark upon this costly and long treatment. What they rave about online at other places was not true for me at all.
Homeoblock Device
Here is how the homeoblock looked. It was fine to wear it and it didn't hurt at all. If I only had had crooked teeth of a normal size I don't think this would have been a big deal and I might have felt happy about it at least from an appearance perspective. I still use it though cause my teeth keep moving. Whenever I stop using it my TMJ starts acting up again.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Remineralization of Teeth
These images do a decent job of showing how much wider my upper palate has become after using my Homeoblock style dental device for 8 months. They also show how my teeth seem to have remineralized during the last three weeks that I've been following basic RBTI guidelines. I've not been RBTI tested yet I've only followed the simple rules of no meats or sweets after 2 pm and then loosely followed the no food list. (No sea salt, popcorn, nuts (except coconut), chocolate, nutmeg, white potatoes, white rice, tea, shellfish, skinfish, pork, hard seeded berries. Chocolate, Tea, Nutmeg, Nuts, Popcorn, Skinned Fish (ie. tuna, shark, mahi mahi, swordfish, marlin, mackerel, bluefish, catfish, etc.), pepper.) less butter but I still eat some and I still eat high fat sheep yoghurt.
I discovered the other day that my teeth looked a lot whiter, at closer inspection I also noticed that my front teeth looked smoother around the corners. Those corners used to be really sharp and now it's as if the tooth has somehow grown a little, filled itself in with new enamel.
I know the lighting is totally different in the images however you can still see how soft the corners are and how there are no more differences in colors. Note the very low edge of the front teeth, they had a yellow discoloration all my life and it got worse on low carb and now after three weeks of RBTI it's totally gone (that's not due to any lighting trick or anything).
New image of my teeth after the use of a homeoblock style device for 8 months, and after three weeks of RBTI.
After three years on Bee Wilder's unhealthy low/no carb diet.
On low carb I also developed my first ever cavity and by the end of it I began noticing that my front teeth had grey stripes inside of them from what I guess was some kind of demineralization process. That was too depressing to even take a photo of. It disappeared as soon as I started RRARFing thankfully. But the yellow shading remained and so did the sharp edges that I had considered asking a dentist to fill in with some kind of porcelain. Now it looks like I won't need that.
This image shows the level of demineralization a little better. The stripes of yellow are slightly visible. It was quite a drastic negative result I got from the low carb diet.
I discovered the other day that my teeth looked a lot whiter, at closer inspection I also noticed that my front teeth looked smoother around the corners. Those corners used to be really sharp and now it's as if the tooth has somehow grown a little, filled itself in with new enamel.
I know the lighting is totally different in the images however you can still see how soft the corners are and how there are no more differences in colors. Note the very low edge of the front teeth, they had a yellow discoloration all my life and it got worse on low carb and now after three weeks of RBTI it's totally gone (that's not due to any lighting trick or anything).
New image of my teeth after the use of a homeoblock style device for 8 months, and after three weeks of RBTI.
After three years on Bee Wilder's unhealthy low/no carb diet.
On low carb I also developed my first ever cavity and by the end of it I began noticing that my front teeth had grey stripes inside of them from what I guess was some kind of demineralization process. That was too depressing to even take a photo of. It disappeared as soon as I started RRARFing thankfully. But the yellow shading remained and so did the sharp edges that I had considered asking a dentist to fill in with some kind of porcelain. Now it looks like I won't need that.
This image shows the level of demineralization a little better. The stripes of yellow are slightly visible. It was quite a drastic negative result I got from the low carb diet.
Palate Expansion Update
So, this is a picture of my teeth after having used my Homeoblock style dental device for 8 months. I know it doesn't look like that drastic of a change, but trust me it is a huge difference for me. My bite right now is the best it's been in my entire life. For the first time I can actually bite down all the way cause my upper teeth are now all in front of the lower row. It feels very good and functional. The dental device itself has widened with about 1 cm. So that's how much wider the palate must have grown.
August 2011
July 2010
My upper palate is not going to be widened any more and right now I'm just using the device without widening it further. This is to allow the teeth to "settle". The next month I'll be getting some kind of thing to push my front teeth together. After a month of that we'll add veneers to create slightly bigger teeth on both sided of the front teeth - where my current smaller "piglet" teeth are sitting. This is necessary in order to keep the palate widened, otherwise, if we were to leave big gaps between my teeth, the palate would most likely shrink back again. I'll miss my piglets for sure but I really don't want to risk my palate going back to where it was when I started making the money and effort meaningless.
My orthodontist is saying that this way of changing teeth is considered "conservative", and functional. For example, I won't need to use any braces to move the teeth. We'll instead let them settle on their own, allowing time to do the job.
The amazing thing with all this, even though it may not look very drastic, is that my piglet teeth moved forward without any pressure forward what so ever on them. The pressure was all to the sides. And when the sided widened my front tow teeth moved forward on their own, as if they were growing into place naturally.
Interestingly as a kid when I had braces, the braces forcefully pushed only on the piglet teeth forward. It worked, however, my bite never improved and as soon as I discontinued using the braces after whatever two years or so of usage, the teeth moved back within no time. It was a futile practice to try to push the teeth forward with force. The homeoblock has really amazed me in that it made the teeth move forward without even the slightest pressure on them.
Also, I have felt no pain what so ever while using the homeoblock, no discomfort or anything. I was expecting to get regular headaches or so. It has been super easy to live with it. The only thing that was annoying was to try to remember to roll the little roller thing with my tongue, something that I was supposed to do all day long to prevent the tongue from pressing upward. I kept forgetting to do this. Hopefully it will be ok anyways.
I must add though that I also have not noticed any improvements in sleep while using the device, nor improvements in clarity of mind or less anxiety or anything like that. I wrote about the potential for this is this blog post:
http://healingendo.blogspot.com/2010/07/is-it-mental-or-is-it-dental.html
Some people that I've read about online do seem to see huge improvements to their life quality and mental health from widening the upper palate but I have not noticed any improvements. Also, worth noting, my CP did not improve at all from using the device. It's just interesting to note this. I am still very happy that I did use the device. Both for a better bit and frankly for cosmetic reasons. I liked my teeth before but I love them even more now! And we're not done yet, but I am looking forward to having a more traditional looking set of teeth. Never thought I would but now I do see the benefits of that. I guess once you realize the whole deal about the value of a wide upper palate, you begin to see the functional beauty in wide upper palates and straight teeth. Then your cosmetic ideals change too. Where I used to think that the most beautiful teeth were the most unique looking once, I now have fallen back into the societal norm of admiring straight teeth in wide upper palates. So, now I'm excited to get to join that group of people.
August 2011
July 2010
My upper palate is not going to be widened any more and right now I'm just using the device without widening it further. This is to allow the teeth to "settle". The next month I'll be getting some kind of thing to push my front teeth together. After a month of that we'll add veneers to create slightly bigger teeth on both sided of the front teeth - where my current smaller "piglet" teeth are sitting. This is necessary in order to keep the palate widened, otherwise, if we were to leave big gaps between my teeth, the palate would most likely shrink back again. I'll miss my piglets for sure but I really don't want to risk my palate going back to where it was when I started making the money and effort meaningless.
My orthodontist is saying that this way of changing teeth is considered "conservative", and functional. For example, I won't need to use any braces to move the teeth. We'll instead let them settle on their own, allowing time to do the job.
The amazing thing with all this, even though it may not look very drastic, is that my piglet teeth moved forward without any pressure forward what so ever on them. The pressure was all to the sides. And when the sided widened my front tow teeth moved forward on their own, as if they were growing into place naturally.
Interestingly as a kid when I had braces, the braces forcefully pushed only on the piglet teeth forward. It worked, however, my bite never improved and as soon as I discontinued using the braces after whatever two years or so of usage, the teeth moved back within no time. It was a futile practice to try to push the teeth forward with force. The homeoblock has really amazed me in that it made the teeth move forward without even the slightest pressure on them.
Also, I have felt no pain what so ever while using the homeoblock, no discomfort or anything. I was expecting to get regular headaches or so. It has been super easy to live with it. The only thing that was annoying was to try to remember to roll the little roller thing with my tongue, something that I was supposed to do all day long to prevent the tongue from pressing upward. I kept forgetting to do this. Hopefully it will be ok anyways.
I must add though that I also have not noticed any improvements in sleep while using the device, nor improvements in clarity of mind or less anxiety or anything like that. I wrote about the potential for this is this blog post:
http://healingendo.blogspot.com/2010/07/is-it-mental-or-is-it-dental.html
Some people that I've read about online do seem to see huge improvements to their life quality and mental health from widening the upper palate but I have not noticed any improvements. Also, worth noting, my CP did not improve at all from using the device. It's just interesting to note this. I am still very happy that I did use the device. Both for a better bit and frankly for cosmetic reasons. I liked my teeth before but I love them even more now! And we're not done yet, but I am looking forward to having a more traditional looking set of teeth. Never thought I would but now I do see the benefits of that. I guess once you realize the whole deal about the value of a wide upper palate, you begin to see the functional beauty in wide upper palates and straight teeth. Then your cosmetic ideals change too. Where I used to think that the most beautiful teeth were the most unique looking once, I now have fallen back into the societal norm of admiring straight teeth in wide upper palates. So, now I'm excited to get to join that group of people.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
TMS update
So, a short update from me. About 5 months since I got my TMS diagnosis.
I'm now learning all I can about TMS. I'm working with an excellent psychotherapist called Alan Gordon, and he's teaching me how our human systems work from a TMS perspective.
The best way so far that I've been able to understand it is through using two movies as metaphors. The first movie is the Matrix. Basically, our physical symptoms, ie pain, hair loss, candida, etc. and interestingly enough also our emotional symptoms like anxiety, depression etc. are simply agents there to arrest us. It is our job to stop seeing the agents and instead see the codes that make them up. The symptoms are there to grab our attention. They keep us preoccupied. So long as we are preoccupied we can't feel our feelings. TMS is essentially a very powerful repression mechanism. But really all the symptoms, the physical and mental, including our negative thoughts, are agents and they are made up of ones' and zeroes. For me I have two basic codes:
1. Things that make me feel scared. (pain, anxiety, depression, worry thoughts, OCD etc)
2. Things that give me low self worth (self critical thoughts, unhealthy compulsive relationships)
Those two codes keep me so preoccupied that I can't feel whatever feelings I may be feeling, ie I repress the feelings this way. Cause I'm so wrapped up in fighting the "agents" that are trying to "arrest me" from consciousness and put me back in the "jail of repression" see below. So, with TMS it is my job to see the agents for what they are: codes there to scare me or to make me feel bad about myself.
When I learn to think "this is just TMS, it's trying to grab my attention by making me scared. It's not real, it's just a code." Then the symptom gets less energy from me and they fade away over a shorter time period. I stay out of jail.
Getting the correct diagnosis has already led me to get to experiences in my life:
1. The first pain free period of my life!!!
2. Working full time again!!!
3. A lot fewer symptoms, including almost no anxiety, nor migraine, digestive problems or depression. A lot better joints.
4. I am able to eat any food I want to eat including dairy without any reactions. I still mostly stick to eating whole foods though just cause I believe in whole foods over refined foods.
5. I am able to be around fur animals without any reactions.
I began to enjoy the above after only a few weeks of treatment and now after 5 months I'm still very stable, some period cramps have returned but that is to be expected because I'm not a psychological ninja....yet....lol. The treatment is essentially getting a better understanding and learning not to get so sucked into the symptoms.
Then there is another aspect to this. That is where the Shawshank Redemption movie enters. When the main character (Morgan Freeman) finally gets out of prison, he feels so uncertain about regular life, that he considers doing something illegal in order to get back into the prison again. Not because he liked being in prison, but because prison had become so familiar to him. It had become his point of stability and safety. Dangerous and unhappy an environment as it was.
It's the same thing with TMS. Feeling scared and bad about myself is definitely not a happy place to be, but it's very familiar to me. So, it's where my system tends to go in order to create some sort of equilibrium for itself. Now, to break free and stay free, it is my job to see the codes and not the agents. Much like when Keanu Reeves saw a woman with a red dress. He was to learn to see that she was just a code, an agent in disguise, instead of getting seduced by her.
As I understand it, that is also the idea behind Buddhist enlightenment. So, I'll have to become enlightened and feel my feelings instead of running back to jail through my symptoms. That's obviously not an easy task and I've only just begun that journey but I do feel more hopeful than ever before.
The above way of functioning is supposedly human and completely normal. It's just when it becomes so commonly used on a daily basis that it's hard to function in life that it becomes a "syndrome", an illness that requires treatment.
It's also a challenge to sift out what is healthy and worth continuing to have in my life, and what is contributing to continuing the symptoms. Some of that has got to do with an attitude change too. For example, yoga is healthy and still something I keep in my life three times a week. However, I don't go because I thin yoga will "cure my endometriosis" or anything like that. I go for wellbeing, to feel good about my life and myself. I also sometimes go to cranio sacral treatments but also not to be cured of anything, not to lessen any symptoms, only because it feels good to feel that relaxed.
I hope to continue becoming enlightened and more and more free from symptoms. A part of me knew all along that I was experiencing a psychosomatic situation. I was never able to separate the two parts of myself. lol.
I'm now learning all I can about TMS. I'm working with an excellent psychotherapist called Alan Gordon, and he's teaching me how our human systems work from a TMS perspective.
The best way so far that I've been able to understand it is through using two movies as metaphors. The first movie is the Matrix. Basically, our physical symptoms, ie pain, hair loss, candida, etc. and interestingly enough also our emotional symptoms like anxiety, depression etc. are simply agents there to arrest us. It is our job to stop seeing the agents and instead see the codes that make them up. The symptoms are there to grab our attention. They keep us preoccupied. So long as we are preoccupied we can't feel our feelings. TMS is essentially a very powerful repression mechanism. But really all the symptoms, the physical and mental, including our negative thoughts, are agents and they are made up of ones' and zeroes. For me I have two basic codes:
1. Things that make me feel scared. (pain, anxiety, depression, worry thoughts, OCD etc)
2. Things that give me low self worth (self critical thoughts, unhealthy compulsive relationships)
Those two codes keep me so preoccupied that I can't feel whatever feelings I may be feeling, ie I repress the feelings this way. Cause I'm so wrapped up in fighting the "agents" that are trying to "arrest me" from consciousness and put me back in the "jail of repression" see below. So, with TMS it is my job to see the agents for what they are: codes there to scare me or to make me feel bad about myself.
When I learn to think "this is just TMS, it's trying to grab my attention by making me scared. It's not real, it's just a code." Then the symptom gets less energy from me and they fade away over a shorter time period. I stay out of jail.
Getting the correct diagnosis has already led me to get to experiences in my life:
1. The first pain free period of my life!!!
2. Working full time again!!!
3. A lot fewer symptoms, including almost no anxiety, nor migraine, digestive problems or depression. A lot better joints.
4. I am able to eat any food I want to eat including dairy without any reactions. I still mostly stick to eating whole foods though just cause I believe in whole foods over refined foods.
5. I am able to be around fur animals without any reactions.
I began to enjoy the above after only a few weeks of treatment and now after 5 months I'm still very stable, some period cramps have returned but that is to be expected because I'm not a psychological ninja....yet....lol. The treatment is essentially getting a better understanding and learning not to get so sucked into the symptoms.
Then there is another aspect to this. That is where the Shawshank Redemption movie enters. When the main character (Morgan Freeman) finally gets out of prison, he feels so uncertain about regular life, that he considers doing something illegal in order to get back into the prison again. Not because he liked being in prison, but because prison had become so familiar to him. It had become his point of stability and safety. Dangerous and unhappy an environment as it was.
It's the same thing with TMS. Feeling scared and bad about myself is definitely not a happy place to be, but it's very familiar to me. So, it's where my system tends to go in order to create some sort of equilibrium for itself. Now, to break free and stay free, it is my job to see the codes and not the agents. Much like when Keanu Reeves saw a woman with a red dress. He was to learn to see that she was just a code, an agent in disguise, instead of getting seduced by her.
As I understand it, that is also the idea behind Buddhist enlightenment. So, I'll have to become enlightened and feel my feelings instead of running back to jail through my symptoms. That's obviously not an easy task and I've only just begun that journey but I do feel more hopeful than ever before.
The above way of functioning is supposedly human and completely normal. It's just when it becomes so commonly used on a daily basis that it's hard to function in life that it becomes a "syndrome", an illness that requires treatment.
It's also a challenge to sift out what is healthy and worth continuing to have in my life, and what is contributing to continuing the symptoms. Some of that has got to do with an attitude change too. For example, yoga is healthy and still something I keep in my life three times a week. However, I don't go because I thin yoga will "cure my endometriosis" or anything like that. I go for wellbeing, to feel good about my life and myself. I also sometimes go to cranio sacral treatments but also not to be cured of anything, not to lessen any symptoms, only because it feels good to feel that relaxed.
I hope to continue becoming enlightened and more and more free from symptoms. A part of me knew all along that I was experiencing a psychosomatic situation. I was never able to separate the two parts of myself. lol.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The End of one Road the Beginning of Another
I just got back from Los Angeles where I finally got to meet with a wonderful medical doctor, Dr Schechter, MD, who specializes in psychosomatic illness. You can check him out here:
www.mindbodymedicine.com
I'm so happy that after 12 years of being certain that in my case, much of my health issues are related to emotions and psychological issues, but only running into medical doctors who at best have had no clue, I have finally found a competent and respectful physician who not only agrees with me that my health issues are psychosomatic, but who has a way of medically diagnosing psychosomatic illness, and on top of that has a developed, tried out, and seemingly effective treatment program that addresses this exact problem. I have been hunting for the bodymind connection together with millions of others for years and done my best to incorporate psychotherapy, meditation, positive thinking, massage, stress reduction and many other things into my own DIY healing program that as you can see from this blog, has not worked wonders.
After the physical examination and some very thorough blood work the doctor was able to give me a proper diagnosis.
It is with much joy that I can declare that I have a proper, medical diagnosis of:
TMS, Tension Myositis Syndrome!
This is wonderful news because the prognosis is amazing! It also means that I am in fact totally healthy physically!!! It is such a relief to know that the underlying cause of my still very real physical symptoms is nothing dangerous or difficult to figure out, nor is it incurable or chronic or evil, it's simply caused by emotions. :)
Now that I have the correct diagnosis, I will be able to work on the correct treatment! I fully believe that this is the right diagnosis for me and I am looking forward to doing the treatment program which is a home study program and specific mindbody focused psychotherapy by a therapist trained in the area of psychosomatic illness.
As I understand it, TMS is technically a mental disorder with physical manifestations. It's not the same as being a hypochondriac, but instead it is a psychosomatic condition. The difference between the two is that a hypochondriac believes they have medical physical problems that they do not have. The psychosomatic person has real medical physical problems, but the problems are caused not by organic causes like hormones or viruses or mechanical faults, but by emotions, stress and tension. If these problems can be healed, the medical conditions will also be restored, within some limits depending upon the physical condition, but many symptoms are potentially totally reversible.
Essentially people who suffer from TMS experience their emotions through physical symptoms. This is something I feel is totally applicable to me. TMS seems further to be an illness of the nervous system. No wonder none of the diets and alternative treatments I have tried have ever worked for me!
I started this blog in 2008, and it has been so meaningful to me. In fact, it is through a comment from a kind stranger called Robert on this blog that I found out about Dr Sarno's work in the first place. Robert, I don't know how to thank you enough for sharing your wisdom with me. Also, thanks to everyone who has been cheering me on these last years! Your support has been so strengthening and has helped me continue my search for that holy grail called health.
However, I now understand that it is in my best interest that I leave behind my focus on the physical symptoms and begin an entirely different journey. One of focusing solely on the psychological aspects.
Therefore, I won't post as much here on this blog from now on, but I promise to do updates on the psychological side of things as I work through this program.
Also, thank you again Matt Stone at 180DegreeHealth.com for helping me find my way back to "eating the food". Your down to earth approach really helps us who have become fixated with cutting out food groups in meaningless, ill informed, neurotic, and sometimes harmful efforts to heal. Keep saving lost dieting-souls! :)
To further focus away from health, I plan on creating a new blog where I will post some of my electronic music. I will add a link to that new blog when I have got it started.
Thank you all for your support! I wish you continued luck on your healing journeys.
I'll leave you for now with one of my favorite cover versions of Dolly Parton's "I will always love you" by the ever entertaining and brilliant "Me First and the Gimme Gimmes to symbolize leaving the physical symptoms to the past. Not that I will always love the symptoms but I couldn't think of anything better. lol....
www.mindbodymedicine.com
I'm so happy that after 12 years of being certain that in my case, much of my health issues are related to emotions and psychological issues, but only running into medical doctors who at best have had no clue, I have finally found a competent and respectful physician who not only agrees with me that my health issues are psychosomatic, but who has a way of medically diagnosing psychosomatic illness, and on top of that has a developed, tried out, and seemingly effective treatment program that addresses this exact problem. I have been hunting for the bodymind connection together with millions of others for years and done my best to incorporate psychotherapy, meditation, positive thinking, massage, stress reduction and many other things into my own DIY healing program that as you can see from this blog, has not worked wonders.
After the physical examination and some very thorough blood work the doctor was able to give me a proper diagnosis.
It is with much joy that I can declare that I have a proper, medical diagnosis of:
TMS, Tension Myositis Syndrome!
This is wonderful news because the prognosis is amazing! It also means that I am in fact totally healthy physically!!! It is such a relief to know that the underlying cause of my still very real physical symptoms is nothing dangerous or difficult to figure out, nor is it incurable or chronic or evil, it's simply caused by emotions. :)
Now that I have the correct diagnosis, I will be able to work on the correct treatment! I fully believe that this is the right diagnosis for me and I am looking forward to doing the treatment program which is a home study program and specific mindbody focused psychotherapy by a therapist trained in the area of psychosomatic illness.
As I understand it, TMS is technically a mental disorder with physical manifestations. It's not the same as being a hypochondriac, but instead it is a psychosomatic condition. The difference between the two is that a hypochondriac believes they have medical physical problems that they do not have. The psychosomatic person has real medical physical problems, but the problems are caused not by organic causes like hormones or viruses or mechanical faults, but by emotions, stress and tension. If these problems can be healed, the medical conditions will also be restored, within some limits depending upon the physical condition, but many symptoms are potentially totally reversible.
Essentially people who suffer from TMS experience their emotions through physical symptoms. This is something I feel is totally applicable to me. TMS seems further to be an illness of the nervous system. No wonder none of the diets and alternative treatments I have tried have ever worked for me!
I started this blog in 2008, and it has been so meaningful to me. In fact, it is through a comment from a kind stranger called Robert on this blog that I found out about Dr Sarno's work in the first place. Robert, I don't know how to thank you enough for sharing your wisdom with me. Also, thanks to everyone who has been cheering me on these last years! Your support has been so strengthening and has helped me continue my search for that holy grail called health.
However, I now understand that it is in my best interest that I leave behind my focus on the physical symptoms and begin an entirely different journey. One of focusing solely on the psychological aspects.
Therefore, I won't post as much here on this blog from now on, but I promise to do updates on the psychological side of things as I work through this program.
Also, thank you again Matt Stone at 180DegreeHealth.com for helping me find my way back to "eating the food". Your down to earth approach really helps us who have become fixated with cutting out food groups in meaningless, ill informed, neurotic, and sometimes harmful efforts to heal. Keep saving lost dieting-souls! :)
To further focus away from health, I plan on creating a new blog where I will post some of my electronic music. I will add a link to that new blog when I have got it started.
Thank you all for your support! I wish you continued luck on your healing journeys.
I'll leave you for now with one of my favorite cover versions of Dolly Parton's "I will always love you" by the ever entertaining and brilliant "Me First and the Gimme Gimmes to symbolize leaving the physical symptoms to the past. Not that I will always love the symptoms but I couldn't think of anything better. lol....
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